One Month to a New Decade

I can't believe it's already December. Actually, it is now December 4th, exactly a month from my dreaded birthday, sigh. Hopefully, I will have an announcement regarding some sort of birthday run/performance very soon (because how else would I want to spend my birthday but by running and playing music?)

Anyway, so far December has started off pretty well. On the first I was fortunate to participate in the first ever NYC "runners' tweet-up" (that I know of anyway.) I know a few twitter haters who don't see the point of it, but I have found so many like-minded, awesome people through twitter it's pretty unbelievable. To those who don't like or don't get it, the secret is that it's all about who you follow. Yes, it would be great to get thousands of followers but to have a good experience first you have to find smart people to follow so you have good quality news feed. You can also follow some good lists, that's a new way to do it.

The tweet-up was so much fun! There was such a talented group of runners at first I was intimidated by the talk of Boston qualifications, ultra-marathons, and people actually winning races (I didn't know that was possible among mortals.) However, that was easy to get past because everyone was just so gosh-darn nice and cool.

We met at Bethesda fountain. There was a brief handshake and stating of names and twitter aliases. This included pigtailsflying and nycbklyngirl who organized it, BrklnRunner, runanskyrun, SpeedySasquatch, NYCe, sclevine, MikeJOConnor, and agaliza.

As the group started off my immediate instinct was to stay with the back of the pack. I wanted to chat with BrklnRunner a bit because I enjoy her blog and she's been such a nice supporter of this blog so I was really excited to meet her in person. Then as the group started taking off I thought, what the heck, why not try to challenge myself a bit and see if I can keep up with some faster runners for awhile? I don't get this opportunity often. If/when I get tired I'll talk to the people behind me then.

To my surprise I was able to keep up the entire time. Although, what truly floored me was how easy it was! These guys were all running their fun run pace and we were chatting almost the whole time. As a result there was a real sense of ease about it. At one point, when I was in the middle, I had the feeling like I was in a moving car because I wasn't putting in the effort to run at all. I think it helped that I started off running and chatting with agaliza who was interested in playing guitar. First of all because he had the most smooth efficient running gait ever so he set a good example and second because when I was encouraging him about the guitar it got me so excited and energized I wasn't worrying about running fatigue.

As the group continued to spread out I found myself alongside pigtailsflying and NYCe and I just wanted to pinch myself. Earlier that day when I was thinking about whether to do the tweet-up for sure I was looking at their blogs, marveling how smoking fast they are and now here I was running with them.

When we reached the end of 5 miles it came out that we had run it faster than I had run my recent 5 mile race PR. Admittedly the last mile or two did not feel as easy as the first couple, but I held on and I made it to the end with the middle pack. At this point some people went back to the back pack people but I felt pretty tired so I was happy to stop running. I had been standing there for hardly a minute when runanskyrun asked me to join him on the bottom loop. The next thing I knew I was running again! He told me about how he had once run from his home in New Jersey to Yankee stadium which I thought was pretty cool. According to his Go Wagon the total distance for the run was 10.15K with time of 54:15 which is a 8:36 min/mile pace. He finished the 5 mile part a bit ahead of me so my result technically was a few seconds higher. Still, I was amazed that I had run that while talking most of the time. I was a bit disappointed with my 10K result at the Nike Human Race in comparison but I'm really looking forward to see how the Joe Kleinerman 10K goes this Sunday!

Ironically as I was traveling from the boonies of Brooklyn to Central Park I was reading Chapter 36 of Pose Method of Running: "Overcoming the Fear of Running." In it is this little gem of a paragraph:

At its core, fear is a reflection of personal uncertainty. What we do not know, or know very little about, creates an emotional void in our performance. When we try to run while dealing with uncertainty, that void quickly fills with fear...fear if running too hard, fear of not running hard enough, fear of injury, fear of success and fear of failure.

Runners habitually underperform because they fear performing better.

The chapter deals with some of the mental challenges associated with running. This is not to say running is all mental, but it definitely plays a role. The thing is I feel this sense of doubt clouding many aspects of my life. I know what I love. I have no problem doing training exercises, and spending quality time running just like I have no problem practicing singing, playing guitar and writing songs. In my heart these are the things I want to do. So, if the criteria for success is just doing what you love than I am successful. Still, I get so grouchy trying to push myself beyond my comfort zone. To get to a higher level I want other people to be able to appreciate what I am doing too. That, I struggle with that a lot. Perhaps it's my mid-western, middle class, Catholic background but it's really tough for me to be pushy. I know I need to be more assertive about setting up gigs and getting people to listen to my music but I really hate asking. I worry that people won't get it or won't like it and that I'm just not that good. I feel like the next songs I'm working on will be better so I'll wait until they are done (this goes for every song I write I always think the next one is going to be better. ) I have never found a stable career path or line of work that I can tolerate for long. It's always been about running (very recreationally) and music. I hate risking having this vision fall apart at my feet because it is what keeps me going. In short, it is fear as a reflection of complete uncertainty.

In music as with running I take it to a level I am comfortable with and luckily that level continues to rise little by little. It is a bit of a conservative approach and it works for me to some extent. Still, I would like to blast through some of my self-imposed obstacles and become the artist and runner that in my heart I know I could be. I definitely feel that stupid biological tick. I don't have forever.

Meditation in Motion: Zone Mind, Zone Body

On my run yesterday I got to thinking about results versus process. Posting the picture from the Brooklyn Half the other day had me thinking back to my rant about how much I hated worrying about my times. Yet, at the same time I really like obsessing about form. It comes down my suspicion that if your main goal is winning or at least setting your personal best time you will cut any corner you have to and miss out on the pleasure of getting there. This means pushing through tension, pain, and feeling generally miserable. It also means losing a sense of flow, gracefulness and efficient breathing that comes with proper running technique.

Now, I am not saying running is supposed to be easy and that you should always run at a pace that is comfortable. I just think that the most important skill to acquire is the ability to be aware; to constantly check in with what your body is doing and where everything is in the moment. It is important to keep challenging yourself and pushing your limits is going to be uncomfortable at first. So, in those moments of discomfort rather than thinking, "I've just got to push through this toward the finish," you are thinking: "How can I adjust my breathing? Are my feet hitting the road too hard? Is my head still up? Can I relax my shoulders more?" As you work on these tiny adjustments you learn a lot more about what you can do. Then, when you find yourself on top of the challenges you get a real sense of freedom. Speed becomes the by-product.

Actually, when I was thinking about this yesterday it seemed like a semi original thought. Now that I have written it down I realize that it's essentially the main point of a book I read earlier this summer called, "Zone Mind, Zone Body: How to break through to new levels of fitness and performance - by doing less!" by Roy Palmer. Palmer is a runner, martial artist and teacher of the Alexander Technique. As some one interested in running and the zone, it definitely piqued my interest. It was a pretty easy read and I found it enjoyable. He gives a few Alexander-type exercises to help you recognize some of your bad movement habits. For example, putting tension in your neck in order to stand up, think about it, the neck muscles are not going to do much for you in this situation. The main thing that the book drives at is that if you can really focus, be in the moment and not put in unnecessary effort you can reach your optimum ability level and be in the zone. He breaks it down to make it easier for people to reach the zone more often.

This is why I love running and how it crosses over into a way to live and understand life. The same goes for music. So much of it is about listening. When things get muddy and difficult it means you must listen more deeply and start working on the things you can fix. It means practicing, tweaking the techniques and waiting until it come out right. There is a lot of patience involved. This all applies to running, music and life. Experiencing the improvements in running and music make the struggles of life feel more bearable. That is why I choose to love the process and the journey of trying to do things the right way rather than focusing only on the quantifiable results. I will work as long as it takes to get something right because the pursuit is the reward.

Running Song #2- To Be Alone

Today I am posting the second in my series of running songs. It is called "To Be Alone." The tempo is 170 b.p.m. (beats per minutes) which is 10 b.p.m. faster than the first song "If You Had a Life to Kill." Yet, on first impression it may feel slower. This is because the melody is in half time but the beats themselves are still quite fast.

Every moment of every run is not about pushing the speed. Anyone who has done long distance running like marathon training knows that there are long periods where you are just sustaining and you are almost relaxed while running. This is when running is like meditation in motion. It is a time to focus on breathing, being in the moment and letting all the usual everyday garbage that clutters the mind drain away for awhile. Running can also be a solitary experience. It is a good time to face your demons and make peace with yourself. "To Be Alone" is about this type of running experience.

Fun thing to listen for:

In my rough version I had some choral sounding backup vocals. I felt they were too much for the whole song but I ended up keeping them faintly in the background toward the end of the song. They have some effects on them which makes them harder to recognize.

Some plugs for today:

Thanks to Kelly F. from "Races in Places" for featuring me in yesterday's blog!

http://racesinplaces.com/2009/05/14/faces-in-places-lady-southpaw/

I booked another race gig! It is the Run for Children's Rights 5K on May 23rd. More details on that to come...